by Lynsey Wickens | Aug 12, 2024 | Uncategorized
By Helen Potts
We are so often striving to achieve, searching for our best lives, hoping to be successful… and yet we can so easily lose ourselves in this ambition as we compare ourselves to others or hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard. Or worse we give up that which we love because we feel our contribution will be seen as too small or insignificant.
Here we go… we walk away from our ordinariness, forgetting that most endeavours start messy, arise out of our failures and flourish from our self acceptance. Whilst it may not look quite as expected maybe our offering has its own small beauty and resonance in the world.
We all have to acknowledge our different potential, resources and opportunities. We are not born into the same bodies, we have different privileges, different experiences.
If we are to live with any equilibrium we need to be aligned to our own inner barometer of accomplishment. Mine is not yours and yours will be an uncomfortable fit for me.
I lived for many years in close proximity to pain and illness and have had to rewrite the rules over and over to find creative ways to achieve my balance and it’s undoubtedly hard. No-one enjoys swimming against this tide. But this is a life many people live, an ordinary life and it’s remarkable in its ordinary way.
Life’s challenges and the advancing years continually alter our bodies, our experiences and our confidence. We have to keep finding and re-finding the truth of our lives.
Most of us are average, ordinarily, wonderfully average. And yes we will shed tears at the smallness and brevity of our lives and the near impossible task of saving any part of this world. But our ordinariness will save our day and it will be one of the most valuable offerings to our friends, family and community. We are not served well by a separation from or rejection of our prosaic reality. In truth this ordinariness is our common humanity and our collective strength.
A small headline held my attention “other people’s outsides cannot be compared to your insides.” Reminding us that the carefully curated image of someone else’s life, someone else’s success is not their complete story and comparing yourself to this will be to the detriment of your self worth.
What matters most as I travel into a new decade?
- That I am kind in my intention
- That I find fulfilling endeavours
- That I connect authentically and at no-one else’s expense
- That I tread softly on this earth
- That I find joy and purpose in the everyday
- I want to say that I am enough, that I am valued and that I value my contribution. I want to continue to be vulnerable, to be open and to be honest. I fail in all of this as much as I succeed but it makes it no less true or desirable.
Mindfulness offers a framework in which to work with our challenges. It has given me an abundance of meaningful connections, a few treasured friends and the understanding and compassion to meet people in their ordinary lives; learning on the way how we all navigate the difficulty and distress of being human.
To be comfortable in our own skin: perhaps this will carry us the furthest and offer the deepest rewards; to integrate this self acceptance, a gentle, personal calibration.
Maybe we can celebrate this invisible, interlinking chain of ordinary humanness as a value beyond the pull or temptation to be noticed. Maybe this will have some resonance for you as it has for me.
Return to yourself in all your failing and fragility, your ordinary remarkableness is all the world needs.
Don’t give up on the smallness of your gift, you were made for this.
About Helen Potts
Helen is a Mindfulness UK IMC graduate. She leads mindfulness and poetry for wellbeing sessions and is passionate about making mindfulness and compassion relatable and inclusive, sharing with others the healing potential this offers. Helen has run a number of community groups, supporting people who are experiencing illness and life challenging circumstances.
“It is wonderful seeing people connect and give space to the fullness of their lives: the pain, the joy and the messiness! We are all the same really, we want to live well, find some ease and fulfilment; whatever our resources I believe this is possible.”
Helen Coordinates MUK Wednesday sitting group
by Lynsey Wickens | Aug 9, 2024 | Uncategorized, Wellbeing
By Helen Potts
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ― Mary Oliver
Mindfulness and poetry have a special place in my heart and in my practice and I feel supported and saved by them on a daily basis. This alchemy of insight and wisdom is truly soul work.
Mindfulness and poetry individually, yes …but there’s this invitation to consider the potency of them together as a gentle holistic medicine, encouraging us to engage with our energy and equilibrium, our anxieties and desires. This is a practice as a prayer, offered to ourselves and others; this is a practice gentle, therapeutic and revealing without the pressure of an outcome or goal.
We often become absorbed in the desire to know what a poem means and whilst this may be rewarding, through mindfulness we learn how to appreciate poetry in a different way, perhaps without the urgency of needing to know; allowing ourselves to soften the intellect, engaging more fully with the mystery.
Mindfulness allows us to slow down and create a calm awareness to receive the words of a poem. It encourages the thinking mind to quieten and allows the poetry to be received not only through the ears but also in the body and the heart. We can be intimately in touch with the experience of the poem, connecting with our senses, connecting with our willingness to be open.
Poetry naturally creates a sense of our common humanity. We meet our own feelings and emotions in the words of another. We have conversations with people from past centuries with the revelation that our emotional pain, joy and complexity are indeed ancient not new. Mindfulness is a door through which a journey into poetry can begin and poetry always offers a welcoming hearth and home for mindfulness.
Research demonstrates that individually they are considered to address pain and illness, stress and isolation: our lives, our loves and our losses. I believe that together they are most definitely more than the sum of their parts.
Over the last year leading sessions on mindfulness and poetry has genuinely moved me: the heartfelt sharing, the realisation of our commonality and connection and also our ability to consider worlds and experiences that are not the same as ours. It engages our compassion, it cultivates relationships and we all become accustomed to holding the space as we read, listen and practice. And yes there are tears as we engage with the heart but there’s also laughter and deep wonder at the world in which we share.
I would encourage all teachers to consider the opportunity poetry offers to enhance their mindfulness sessions. It dissolves and reinvents teacher student relationships; it extends this wonderful gift of agency as someone is empowered to offer a poem that has accompanied their lives at moments of healing, through times of distress or remembering. Here we find all the themes of mindfulness effortlessly spilling from the page, here we learn to listen attentively, generously, tenderly.
About Helen Potts
Helen is a Mindfulness UK IMC graduate. She leads mindfulness and poetry for wellbeing sessions and is passionate about making mindfulness and compassion relatable and inclusive, sharing with others the healing potential this offers. Helen has run a number of community groups, supporting people who are experiencing illness and life challenging circumstances.
“It is wonderful seeing people connect and give space to the fullness of their lives: the pain, the joy and the messiness! We are all the same really, we want to live well, find some ease and fulfilment; whatever our resources I believe this is possible.”
Helen Coordinates MUK Wednesday sitting group
by Lynsey Wickens | Jul 19, 2024 | Uncategorized
In the journey of healing from trauma, mindfulness can be a transformative tool, offering individuals a path to reconnect with their bodies, minds, and emotions in a safe and nurturing way. Trauma-informed mindfulness recognizes the unique challenges faced by trauma survivors and adapts mindfulness practices to address these needs.
This blog post explores the symptoms of trauma, the benefits of trauma-informed mindfulness, how facilitators can introduce mindfulness to trauma clients, and how clients can maximize the benefits of these practices.
Symptoms of Trauma
Trauma manifests in various ways, affecting both the mind and body. Understanding these symptoms is crucial for providing effective support.
- Hypersensitivity, Hypervigilance: Trauma survivors often feel constantly on edge, scanning their environment for potential threats.
- Overwhelm, Burnout: Chronic stress from trauma can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and exhausted
- Insomnia, Nightmares, Panic Attacks: Sleep disturbances are common, with nightmares and panic attacks disrupting rest.
- Dullness, Shutting Down: To cope with overwhelming emotions, individuals may become numb or detached.
- Feeling Disconnected: Trauma can lead to a sense of disconnection from oneself and others.
- Effects on Body: Chronic pain, eating disorders, and other physical symptoms can arise as the body attempts to cope.
- Dysregulation of Systems: Trauma can disrupt the body’s systems, making it difficult to achieve homeostasis.
Recognizing these symptoms is the first step in addressing trauma and implementing effective mindfulness practices.
Benefits of Trauma-Informed Mindfulness
Trauma-informed mindfulness offers a gentle, non-analytical approach to healing, focusing on present-moment awareness and self-compassion.
- Non-Analytical Approach: Mindfulness allows individuals to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment or analysis.
- Grounded, Present, “I’m OK Right Now”: Mindfulness brings individuals into the present moment, reducing anxiety about the past or future.
- Soothing: Mindfulness practices can soothe the nervous system, promoting relaxation and calm.
- Changes Hard-Wiring: Regular mindfulness practice can alter neural pathways, supporting healing in the body, heart, and mind.
- Builds Emotional Intelligence and Resilience: Mindfulness enhances emotional awareness and resilience, enabling better coping mechanisms.
- Builds Confidence in Everyday Life: As individuals become more mindful, their confidence in navigating daily challenges increases.
The benefits of trauma-informed mindfulness extend beyond immediate relief, fostering long-term healing and growth.
Introducing Mindfulness to Trauma Clients
For facilitators, introducing mindfulness to trauma clients requires sensitivity, training, and an intuitive approach.
- Embodiment: Facilitators should embody mindfulness, demonstrating its principles through their presence.
- Authenticity: Genuine, authentic interactions help build trust and rapport with clients.
- Trained to Deliver These Practices: Proper training in trauma-informed mindfulness ensures facilitators can offer safe and effective guidance.
- Meet Clients Where They Are: Tailoring practices to the client’s current state and needs is crucial.
- Start with Mindfulness First: Begin with basic mindfulness practices before introducing more complex techniques.
- Emotional Intelligence: Facilitators should possess high emotional intelligence to navigate the complexities of trauma.
- Intuition: Trusting one’s intuition can guide facilitators in adapting practices to the client’s needs.
For Clients, to get the most out of mindfulness strategies, it’s important for practices to be accessible and performed in a safe and comforting environment.
- Feel Safe: Creating a safe and supportive environment is essential for effective practice.
- Accessible Practices: Practices should be simple and accessible, allowing clients to engage without feeling overwhelmed.
- Learn When and How to Bring Mindfulness and Compassion into Their Lives: Clients should be guided on integrating mindfulness into their daily routines.
- Have Support Beyond Sessions: Providing recordings or other resources can help clients continue their practice outside of sessions.
- Supported by Compassionate Mindful Inquiry: Facilitators should engage in compassionate inquiry, helping clients explore their experiences gently.
- Comfort: Ensuring physical and emotional comfort enhances the effectiveness of mindfulness practices.
Relationship between mindfulness and compassion
For trauma victims, the relationship between mindfulness and compassion is particularly profound. Mindfulness allows individuals to peel away their defense mechanisms and confront the reality of their experiences. These defense mechanisms, while often seen as destructive, have provided a form of support, making their removal leave a person feeling vulnerable and adrift. This is where the “action” of compassion becomes essential. By practicing self-soothing and self-kindness, trauma victims can slowly transform their internal dialogue and begin to nurture themselves in new, healthier ways. This shift not only helps them face their current reality but also creates a new, more nourishing reality.
Over time, this compassionate approach can have a truly transformative and sustainable effect, helping individuals move beyond merely surviving to thriving in their lives post-trauma.
By following these strategies, clients can harness the full potential of trauma-informed mindfulness, fostering a journey of healing and growth.
by Lynsey Wickens | Jun 14, 2024 | All Blog Posts
By Melissa Shah
In the fast-paced world in which we live and even more so in recent years post Covid, many people are turning to healing practices such as mindfulness and meditation to alleviate stress and enhance their lives. Since starting my work as a Mindfulness and Compassion teacher, many people have asked me what the difference between mindfulness and meditation is. A common perception is that they are the same thing, and in many ways, they have similarities and certainly produce similar positive effects. However, there are some fundamental differences to explore.
Mindfulness can be defined as being engaged in the current moment, inviting awareness to your emotional and physical self, with compassion and without judgement. It is a practice that can be integrated into your everyday life and become embodied by you in everything that you do.
What is meditation?
Meditation is an intentionally chosen activity with a focal point that requires physical action from you. Time is specifically taken out to formally practice meditation in a peaceful setting. In meditation, we may use the body as a focal point, whereas, during a guided mindfulness body scan we remain present and curious about how we are feeling physically and emotionally as we encounter the different areas of our bodies.
Meditation is often a single-pointed practice e.g. looking at a candle flame, whilst blocking everything out. It is usually a more concentrative focus whereas mindfulness is an open awareness whilst paying attention e.g. to the body, to the sensate experiences, we are still aware of what’s going on around us.
Meditation can be considered as more of a ‘letting go’ experience. During meditation, the focus is to clear the mind and less time is spent considering or acknowledging distracting thoughts or noticing how they are affecting us.
What is mindfulness?
In mindfulness practice, we often refer to ‘letting things be’. We allow thoughts to pass through, acknowledging them, accepting them and then letting them flow past unchanged.
Another unique element of mindfulness practice is the integration of kindness and self-compassion, truly allowing us to be with ourselves and how we are feeling. How do we talk to ourselves, feel about ourselves? We invite kindness, gentleness and compassion into the equation which creates an opportunity for a deeper inner connection.
Benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation
Both practices can help with many mental and physical health-related issues, including:
- Stress
- Anxiety
- Depression
- High blood pressure
- Auto-immune deficiencies
- Cardio-vascular
- Regulating the nervous system
Whether it is one or the other, or perhaps a combination of both, mindfulness and meditation have certainly proven to be of great added value in creating a more healthy and happy life.
“A crowded mind leaves no space for a peaceful heart.” ― Christine Evangelou
About Melissa Shah:
I am Melissa from Quiet Coyote, a mindfulness, compassionate inquiry and sound healing community. I have always had a strong desire to connect with others and support those in need of a helping hand through this sometimes tumultuous storm we call Life.
www.quietcoyote.co.uk
